Lessons

I have been learning a lot of them lately. I think that I am on a long journey. In the beginning, I just wanted it to end. The road was not marked, the terrain brutal and I couldn't see continuing on such a treacherous path....it literally almost killed me. But the other path I was on, although as easy as it may have seemed it was an illusion. I had convinced myself that I was sort of happy, but I was not. So, here I am. Still climbing uphill. I tell myself that because the journey has been so long that once I reach the top it will be even more rewarding. So the lesson for my life right now is just go with the flow. This is incredibly hard for a control freak like myself. I like to be in control. Ask my husband. Ask anyone. But I am learning to be submissive.....not like that...get your head out of the gutter!

The other lesson is that things aren't always what they seem. You may think you know, but you don't know. Don't make outright assumptions because you have no frigging clue as to what lies beneath the surface. And sometimes a terrible situation can be something positive. If you know me well you know that this whole positive gig is something new. I haven't always been positive...the negative bug still creeps in with its self loathing and pity party bullshit. I am sick of that though...but it still happens. You can't be positive all the time. If you are I want to know your secret.

Other things that have been happening is that I ran another race and it was awesome. The VA Ten Miler. It was a challenge for sure. Lots of hills. But I did it :) Running is such a mind game. I was sick when I ran it and I kept telling myself the whole time that I could do it...until the last mile where I start to doubt myself which I shouldn't. I have run further so it should have been a cake walk but it was tough. Running is also about your physical state. I have realized that it just isn't about the eating and drinking the night before. What you do all week affects your run. You have to stay hydrated and eat right ALL week. Tough man. Tough.

I need to blog more. I have a lot of crap on my mind. I just need some extra hours in the day :)

Until next time.....